I cannot close the book..

I know I should.  I have been doing better....missing my brother ..

Is that something one gets "better" at?

There were times when we only talked on the phone every few months.  But I always knew....knew he was there for me.  I could have asked anything of him and he would have made it happen.

That's what big brothers do..take care of their little sisters.  And he has 3. 

It's been a year.  A year tomorrow, January 5th.

He was always there...always.  And it's been a year.

A year of times I "forgot" and wanted to call him and tell him some news..a cousin's passing..a story I had read..a joke or a good laugh..

A year of good times and exciting news {he'll have a great grandson this year..}

A year of rememberies..and photos..and emotions flooding in at unexpected times..

A year of good dreams where hugs are given and of bad dreams when ,upon waking up,  realizing it was just a dream..

This past year..Larry walked with our Dad..in my dreams.  And I got to hug them both .. in my dreams.

And I felt their strength..their warmth..their love..in my dreams.

{L to R -Gerri, Kathy, Larry, Daddy, me and Mother - circa 1954}

So, while the pages may be a bit dog-eared..I cannot close the book.   This story is not finished.  And there will be a happy ending..

I will not say good-bye.

-me

I won't be posting for a few days..just need some time to ..focus.